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5 Myths About Engagement Rings That Deserve to Die

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In the journey towards marriage, the engagement ring stands as a powerful symbol of love, commitment, and the promise of a shared future. Yet, in the glow of this tradition, shadows of myths and misconceptions loom large, often clouding the joy of this momentous occasion with undue pressure and unrealistic expectations. From the size and cost of the ring to the types of stones deemed "appropriate," societal norms have long dictated the narrative around what an engagement ring should embody.

At Ilah Jewelry, we believe in the power of love and the importance of expressing it in ways that are as unique as the relationships they represent. It's time to challenge the old adages and shed light on the truths that modern love stories are built on. This blog aims to debunk five pervasive myths about engagement rings, empowering couples in long-term relationships to make choices that reflect their values, tastes, and the reality of their lives together.

As we dive into this topic, keep in mind that the most profound commitments are those not measured by the weight of gold or the flash of a gemstone but by the depth of the bond they symbolize. Let's uncover the truth behind these myths one at a time.


Myth #1: The "Two Months' Salary Rule"

One of the most enduring myths in marital tradition is the "Two Months' Salary Rule," suggesting that an engagement ring must cost the equivalent of two months of the proposer's income. This standard originated from a clever marketing campaign in the mid-20th century. Since then, it's become a benchmark for couples across the globe, instilling the belief that the monetary value of the ring directly correlates with the depth of their commitment.

Reality Check

The truth is, the value of an engagement ring cannot and should not be distilled down to a simple formula based on income. Love, after all, isn't measured in dollars and cents. A ring's worth comes from the love it symbolizes, not the price tag attached to it. Today's couples are increasingly prioritizing personal significance, ethical sourcing, and financial sensibility over adhering to outdated spending mandates.

Our Perspective

We stand by the belief that every couple deserves to celebrate their love in a way that's right for them, free from the constraints of arbitrary rules. We offer a variety of engagement ring options that focus on craftsmanship, ethical sourcing, and meaningful design over mere cost. Whether it's a bespoke piece that tells a unique story or a simple band that signifies endless love, we ensure that every ring reflects true value—emotional, ethical, and personal.

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Myth #2: Bigger Is Always Better

Another pervasive myth is that the size of the diamond on an engagement ring directly represents the magnitude of love and commitment. This belief pressures many to prioritize carat size above all else, often at the expense of other important factors such as cut, color, clarity, and, most importantly, personal preference.

Reality Check

The truth is, the emotional value of an engagement ring transcends its physical dimensions. A smaller stone does not signify lesser affection. In fact, choosing a ring should be about finding a piece that resonates with the wearer's style and the couple's unique story. Quality often trumps quantity, with a well-chosen design and gemstone setting making a more profound statement than sheer size could ever convey.

Our Perspective

Our collections embrace the idea that beauty, significance, and craftsmanship define the true value of an engagement ring, not the carat weight of the diamond. Our collection features designs that are thoughtfully crafted to highlight the individuality of each stone and the personal style of the wearer. From intricate settings that enhance the stone's natural beauty to unique gemstones that break from convention, we believe every ring should be as unique as the love it celebrates.


Myth #3: Diamonds Are Your Only Option

The diamond engagement ring is a symbol deeply ingrained in matrimonial tradition, leading many to believe that a proposal can only be signified with a diamond. This myth not only limits the scope of choice but also overlooks the personal tastes and values of the couple, especially for those who might prefer something less traditional or more ethically sourced.

Reality Check

Engagement rings can and should reflect the unique bond between partners, which means stepping away from the notion that only diamonds can denote commitment. The world of gemstones is rich with options — from sapphires and rubies to emeralds and moissanites — each with its own story and significance. Moreover, alternative gemstones can offer more affordable and ethical choices for couples looking to express their love in a way that aligns with their personal beliefs and preferences.

Our Perspective

Ilah Jewelry celebrates the diversity of love by offering an extensive selection of gemstone engagement rings. Our range includes not only the classic diamond but also a variety of other precious stones, each selected for its beauty, durability, and ability to capture the essence of the wearer's style. We encourage couples to explore alternatives to diamonds, whether for ethical reasons, personal tastes, or simply the desire to stand out from the crowd. Our commitment to sustainability and ethical sourcing means that every choice is not just beautiful but also conscientious.


Myth #4: Engagement Rings Should Be a Surprise

The surprise proposal, complete with a hidden ring, is a scenario many have come to expect as part of the engagement tradition. This myth propagates the idea that the act of choosing and presenting an engagement ring without the partner's input is the ultimate romantic gesture. While surprises have their charm, this approach can overlook the importance of mutual choice and compatibility in selecting a piece that will be worn for a lifetime.

Reality Check

Choosing an engagement ring is one of the most significant decisions a couple will make together, and involving both partners in the process can enhance the experience, ensuring the ring truly resonates with the wearer's style and preferences. Today, many couples prefer to select the engagement ring together, turning the purchase into a collaborative, meaningful journey rather than a solitary decision.

Our Perspective

The selection of an engagement ring benefits greatly from open communication and partnership. Our process is designed to welcome couples to explore their options together, offering a shared experience that reflects the depth of their commitment and mutual respect. Whether it's discussing preferences, exploring different styles, or customizing a unique design, we encourage couples to make these decisions hand in hand.

The element of surprise can still play a role in the proposal—it's the moment and manner of asking that can be unexpected rather than the choice of the ring itself. This approach not only ensures satisfaction with the ring but also symbolizes a united front as couples embark on their journey towards marriage, reinforcing the idea that the best decisions in life are those made together.

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Myth #5: The Ring's Value Is Tied to the Marriage's Success

A particularly insidious myth is the belief that the cost and grandeur of an engagement ring are somehow indicative of the future success of the marriage. This myth puts undue pressure on the proposer to invest in an excessively expensive ring as a means of proving the seriousness of their commitment and the likelihood of a happily ever after.

Reality Check

The success of a marriage is built on mutual respect, love, communication, and shared values, not the price or size of an engagement ring. A ring is a symbol of commitment, but it's the quality of the relationship that truly determines the strength of the bond between partners. Placing too much emphasis on the material aspects of the engagement ring can overshadow the deeper, more meaningful aspects of the union it's meant to represent.

Our Perspective

We advocate for a focus on what the engagement ring represents at its core: a promise between partners to build a life together. We believe that every ring, regardless of its cost, is invaluable when it symbolizes such a profound commitment. Our collection is designed to offer a range of options that honor this principle, allowing couples to choose a ring that reflects their love and commitment without succumbing to societal pressures about value and appearance.


Key Takeaways

As we've journeyed through these five common myths about engagement rings, it's clear that the true essence of this symbolic piece transcends societal norms and commercial pressures.

The engagement ring, a symbol of love, commitment, and the promise of a shared future, should reflect the unique relationship between partners, free from the constraints of outdated traditions.

Our jewelry collections celebrate the diversity of love by offering a range of engagement rings that cater to all tastes, preferences, and values. We believe that by debunking these myths, couples can approach this significant step in their relationship with confidence, focusing on what truly matters: their love for each other.



Looking for a Worcester jewelry store that carries a huge selection of carbon-negative diamonds and other alternative jewelry? We specialize in unique, colorful, responsibly sourced jewelry, LGBT jewelry, and other queer-friendly word rings as Worcester, MA's top independent jewelry store.

Radically Personal. Unapologetically Human. Made with fierce love.

-Ilah ♥ / IG: @ilahjewelry

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